Wow - it has sure been a little while since I have been here. It's Saturday morning, I should be waking up next to my my hubby down in Laguna, California. Instead I am in my room- reading blogs searching for inspiring stories, or simply things to take my mind of my sad state. The build up of this getaway was amazing - Mike had a business Conference in Laguna- and his manager suggested that he should take his wife. ME! We bought the ticket, figured out help with our three little women, I cleaned and cleaned (which is huge for me). I swear I did 10 loads of laundry (apparently) I missed doing my girls laundry the week before. Because 10 loads is not normal for one week! I got my hair cut (when showing of my short locks to Eryn - I exclaimed see isn't it nice to have ME back). Got my hair colored - so I didn't have to stare at my greys!
I even went all out - bought some tea lights and fake rose petals (only $2.00 in the Valentine section at Walmart) I borrowed a suitcase a purse (the purse to look more hip in Cali). I borrowed a few things from Eryn - there is something exciting to me about putting something new - or new to me on. Am I the only one who feels this way? I even did a fashion show for my fashionista sister - and my nieces. I got my suitcase actually closed. It was 4:30, I was leaving my house at 7:15.
I went to borrow some magazines from our friends and just bent over to look at their computer at a google map of downtown Laguna - and then it hit. A panreatitis attack like days of old. I went from a 5 to a 9 in about 15 minutes. I left our friends drove over to my house ran in to get my pain pills - called Eryn. Crying......... planned on waiting 20 minutes to see if I could manage or if I needed to go to the ER. I drove to get the girls at school - and was crying, breathing heavy- and the look on Micaela's face when she saw me - she knew something was wrong. Just a side note I have gotten pretty good at hiding it, but the pain combined with the thought of not being able to go on my getaway... well I am not that good.
Sorry this is taking so long - I waited for the pain meds to kick in, was still in pain but they did take the edge off. But the reality was what if things get worse I am on a plane? Mike needs to be at a the conference, if things get worse down there and I need to go to the hospital. So I decided not to go, I prayed and really felt like that was a good decision.
Eryn drove me to the ER. This was old hat - for me but I honestly can't remember the last time I was in this much pain. They rushed me back - and 3 different nurses tried for a little over and hour, no one could get an IV started. (Where is my port when I need it?) So they decided to give me shots and have me come in the next day for ivs- I felt better - the pain was definitely gone.
I slept in the next day - I actually slept most of the day thanks to the drugs - but when I wasn't sleeping I cried a lot. I couldn't believe I was here in my bed and not there. Mike and I were both so disappointed. I was questioning did I really make the right decision. If I did, why am I okay right now? Thankfully for Mike - he was proud of me for making a decision on my own - (something I really struggle to do). He also pointed out we will probably never know why things worked out this way, but I did what I thought I should do. For now I am letting that comfort me while still being sad about how it all worked out. We were going to stay until Sunday but Mike is coming home Saturday afternoon.
Enough of the whining.........thanks for listening.
